Frank Crumit :: A Tale of the Ticker

This little pig went to market,

Where they buy and sell the stocks.

This little pig came home again,

With his system full of shocks.

I don't understand their language,

Don't know what its all about.

For a bull buys up and the bear sells down,

And a broker sells yo out.

And here is the song

They sing the whole day long.


Oh the market's not so good today,

Your stocks look kind of sick.

In fact they all drop down a point,

Each time the tickers tick.

We'll have to have more margin now,

There isn't any doubt.

So you better dash with a load of cash,

Or we'll have to sell you out.

The stock exchange is a funny place,

Its the strangest place in town.

The seats cost half a million cash,

But the brokers won't sit down.

There's the broker, the bull, and the bear,

It's queer but its not a joke.

For you get the bull 'til your bankroll's bare,

And the broker says you're broke.

And here is the song

I hear the whole day long.


The market simply goes to prove,

That we still have loco weeds.

For the bull buys what he doesn't want,

And the bear sells what he needs.

I bought an elevator stock,

And thought that I'd done well.

Then the little bears all ran downstairs,

And rang the basement bell.

And here is the song

I heard the whole day long.